M\u0103 numesc Daniela \u0219i, dup\u0103 foarte mul\u021bi ani, m\u0103 v\u0103d \u0219i eu cu adev\u0103rat atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 privesc \u00een oglind\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am fost multe lucruri p\u00e2n\u0103 mai ieri. So\u021bie, c\u00e2nd nu \u0219tiam prea bine ce e iubirea, o mam\u0103 t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 ce \u021binea captiv un copil interior r\u0103nit \u0219i speriat, o femeie \u00een\u021beleapt\u0103 \u00een post\u0103ri \u0219i pierdut\u0103 \u00een via\u021b\u0103, \u00eencrez\u0103toare \u00een ce scriam \u0219i fr\u00e2nt\u0103 \u00een ce tr\u0103iam de fapt. Am fost bl\u00e2nd\u0103 cu to\u021bi ceilal\u021bi, dar nu \u0219i cu mine. Dar acum c\u0103 nu mai sunt toate astea, acum c\u0103 sunt doar eu, m\u0103 iubesc \u0219i m\u0103 pre\u021buiesc nespus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunt mama Anastasiei, partenera b\u0103rbatului din via\u021ba noastr\u0103, fiica mamei mele \u0219i prietena celor care nu fug de adev\u0103rul crud, dar mai presus de toate sunt a mea. Am fost c\u0103s\u0103torit\u0103, am fost \u00een\u0219elat\u0103, tr\u0103dat\u0103, abandonat\u0103, am divor\u021bat, am fost \u00een \u00eentuneric, r\u0103nit\u0103, stins\u0103 \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 direc\u021bie, dar cumva am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103-mi aprind singur\u0103 lumina. Nimic nu m\u0103 mai poate d\u0103r\u00e2ma acum, str\u0103lucesc \u0219i tare bine mi-e. Dup\u0103 lungi ani de justific\u0103ri, compromisuri, iert\u0103ri premature \u0219i vise zdrobite m-am \u00eentors c\u0103tre mine. \u0218i mi-a pl\u0103cut ce-am g\u0103sit: o femeie \u00eentreag\u0103, curajoas\u0103, puternic\u0103 \u0219i lupt\u0103toare. Sincer? Nu mi-a trecut prin minte s\u0103 nu m\u0103 ridic de fiecare dat\u0103 cu ceva mai mult \u00een mine. Mai mult curaj, mai mult discern\u0103m\u00e2nt, mai mult\u0103 deta\u0219are \u0219i bl\u00e2nde\u021be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tr\u0103iesc cu ADHD \u0219i chiar dac\u0103 uneori uit lucruri banale, cum ar fi unde mi-am pus cheile, portofelul sau ma\u0219ina \u00een parcare la Ikea, nu uit niciodat\u0103 cum m-am sim\u021bit c\u00e2nd m-a durut sau m-a bucurat ceva. De multe ori lumea \u00een care tr\u0103im e prea dur\u0103 pentru mine, prea zgomotoas\u0103, prea fragmentat\u0103 \u0219i mi-e greu s\u0103 func\u021bionez normal. E greu ca dracu s\u0103 te for\u021bezi s\u0103 fii normal c\u00e2nd nu e\u0219ti normal. Dar tot ADHD-ul \u0103sta m-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc mi\u0219to, s\u0103 simt lucrurile intens, s\u0103 v\u0103d detalii pe care al\u021bii le scap\u0103, s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc clipa la maxim, s\u0103 fiu direct\u0103, brutal de sincer\u0103 \u0219i asumat\u0103. Nu m\u0103 mai obosesc s\u0103 conving pe nimeni de nimic, nu-mi place s\u0103 v\u00e2nd, s\u0103 insist, s\u0103 intru cu bocancii. Acum desigur, exist\u0103 excep\u021bii, depinde care este miza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dac\u0103 ai continuat s\u0103 cite\u0219ti p\u00e2n\u0103 aici trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 nu scriu ca s\u0103 fiu aprobat\u0103 sau admirat\u0103, ci scriu fiindc\u0103 altfel n-a\u0219 putea tr\u0103i. Eu chiar tr\u0103iesc totul p\u00e2n\u0103-n m\u0103duv\u0103 \u0219i-apoi a\u0219ez \u00een pagin\u0103. Scrisul nu e un hobby pentru mine, din p\u0103cate nu m\u0103 \u021bin de el cu disciplina unui pasionat, nu e nici terapie, nici m\u0103car talent. E mai degrab\u0103 parte vital\u0103 ca inima sau pielea; \u00eemi d\u0103 via\u021b\u0103, energie, m\u0103 protejeaz\u0103 de exterior, m\u0103 \u00eempr\u0103\u0219tie, m\u0103 adun\u0103 \u0219i m\u0103 vindec\u0103. Am fraze lungi fiindc\u0103 g\u00e2ndurile mele sunt \u00eentortocheate. Propozi\u021biile mele rareori \u0219tiu c\u00e2nd s\u0103 se opreasc\u0103, dar \u0219tiu perfect c\u00e2nd s\u0103 doar\u0103. Eu cred c\u0103 sunt o povestitoare bun\u0103, dar sunt o scriitoare \u0219i mai bun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu am nevoie validare \u0219i nici nu vreau s\u0103 fiu model pentru cineva. Nu-mi mai doresc s\u0103 fiu un exemplu, vreau doar s\u0103 fiu real\u0103 pentru cine m\u0103 vede, s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n conectat\u0103 cu mine \u0219i s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai tr\u0103dez niciodat\u0103 pentru binele altora.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ADHD-ul, depresiile, anxietatea, singur\u0103tatea absolut\u0103 \u00een mijlocul unei mul\u021bimi de oameni care m\u0103 iubesc, nop\u021bi albe cu ochii \u00een tavan \u0219i zile gri \u00een care mi-am f\u0103cut treaba ca un robo\u021bel nu m\u0103 definesc. Sunt capabil\u0103 s\u0103 simt mult\u0103 durere, dar m\u0103 definesc mai degrab\u0103 prin felul \u00een care am r\u0103mas vie, prin felul \u00een care iubesc acum. pe mine in primul r\u00e2nd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu-mi place s\u0103 dramatizez (hai bine, poate un pic), dar nu m\u0103 feresc s\u0103 spun lucrurilor pe nume, nu m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103 s\u0103 fiu vulnerabil\u0103, \u0219i n-o fac ca s\u0103 fiu salvat\u0103, ci pentru c\u0103 a\u0219a sunt eu, real\u0103 \u0219i transparent\u0103. La mine acas\u0103 nu se pup\u0103-n fund via\u021ba, ci se spune cum e.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eu nu livrez \u201econtent\u201d, nu dau sfaturi, nu v\u00e2nd iluzia perfec\u021biunii pe ecran, dar dac\u0103 voi l\u0103sa urme, pauze de sine, emo\u021bii, \u00eentreb\u0103ri…atunci mi-am f\u0103cut treaba. Cei care \u0219tiu s\u0103 m\u0103 citeasc\u0103, m\u0103 vor cunoa\u0219te cu adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sunt Daniela. Femeie. Mam\u0103. Iubit\u0103. Om. \u0218i nu-mi mai e fric\u0103 s\u0103 fiu toate astea deodat\u0103. Imperfect\u0103, dar suficient\u0103.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u0103 numesc Daniela \u0219i, dup\u0103 foarte mul\u021bi ani, m\u0103 v\u0103d \u0219i eu cu adev\u0103rat atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 privesc \u00een oglind\u0103. Am fost multe lucruri p\u00e2n\u0103 mai ieri. So\u021bie, c\u00e2nd nu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3040,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"powerkit_post_featured":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3039"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3039"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3039\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3041,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3039\/revisions\/3041"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3039"},{"taxonomy":"powerkit_post_featured","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordmaniangirl.ro\/?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fpowerkit_post_featured&post=3039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}